a verbally abusive boss

by patti
(Maryland)

My 24 year old daughter works at a day care. One of the owners (husband)routinely yells at the workers. He calls them worthless and states that he does not know why he lets them work there. He threatens to send them home without pay. He yells at them in front of the children. This is causing her so much stress, she has trouble sleeping and when he yells at her she cries uncontrollably. I have told her to quit. That this is a hostile work environment.


Hi Patti,

If she quits before she is able to substantiate the conditions .. it will be very hard to collect unemployment.

If it is the owner that is doing this .. tell her to write a formal letter with some specific examples of the type of mistreatment she wants stopped .. the more specific the better. Make sure she can prove this was delivered to the employer and retain a copy and the proof.

If he continues .. official complaints would come next. If it was an owner .. I myself would have my formal complaints all ready to go or might even have already sent them because I can easily imagine a bully firing someone in retaliation for having the nerve to write a formal complaint. .. Being fired after a rational laid out complaint will only help if unemployment benefits are the goal.

Formal complaints might include a daycare regulating agency .. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want one of my grandchildren to witness verbal assaults by one adult to another.


Then there is the EEOC or possibly some other MD "labor websites" that take workplace harassment complaints.

There's also the MD unemployment decision digest.

The point is that you must document everything you do to try to preserve the employment.

Patti, on a personal note .. I understand why you would be telling your daughter to just quit .. sometimes, in fact most times, it's the simplest and easiest way to deal with a bad boss, but I also believe there comes a point .. and maybe it's when a person becomes so upset that they cry about a job or boss and refuse to quit .. that encouraging a little righteous indignation and some positive way to fight back that may empower to not allow their self to ever again feel like a victim because they learn there is usually a recourse.

Sometimes I am flabbergasted at how bad things have to get before an employee takes action .. and it's usually just quitting on an impulse.

Anyone who comes to this site ought to know that I think quitting on impulse is only an option if you are able to financially sustain yourself while looking for a new job .. because it's the rare person that will actually get UI benefits when they quit on impulse.

Why do we take personally, the abusive hot air of an idiot bully boss besides the "paycheck".

The opposite of a bully .. can only be a victim.