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i quit because my boss went into rages.

by Kathleen
(tulsa)

My boss has been abusive since i would say a month or so after i first started....a simple question sets her off... finally i could take no more. I did try to resolve this with her...but she does not think she is doing anything wrong. I have not done anything to warrant any "rages" she goes into like i said a question can warrant one.. so by quitting does that dis qualify me for unemployment.





No, not necessarily. I glad you told me you did try to resolve this before you quit, but of course you understand that I tell everyone to be able to back this up through some type of documentation.

I simply makes it easier to prove that you're not telling stories.

For instance. Did she only go into rages when no one else was around?

Many people will find their former abusive manager is quite a smooth and persuasive talker willing to tell untruths .. or maybe they just convincingly understate the same events and you are perceived to be overstating simple instances of a personality conflict.

When you have documentation showing you have addressed the issue directly with the employer and in which you have described the details of abuses .. bully bosses might become less credible looking .. in fact bully bosses rely on subordinates being to scared of them to raise an objection to how they are being treated.

This
is as good a time as any to tell you what I think drives many bully bosses and by virtue drives me.

I think if I were able to crawl inside their heads, I would be sickened by the depth of their feelings of impotence and powerlessness. I might even have twinges of pity for them.

I believe it is the act of making others fear them to relieve these feelings somewhat that drives them and makes them feel better about themselves .. in fact when we tremble in fear, they somehow feel better and delude themselves that they are in fact better than those that don't stand up to them.

So I do understand why anyone would quit because of this type of boss, Who actually has enough life to put up with this on a day to day basis?

But I would like to see this all go one step further and live to see the day when the rest of us .. who have the strength within us to stand up and do what is necessary to make bullies question the wisdom of the M.O they have used all their lives to get by and ahead.

So, I hope that you get unemployment because you quit your bully of a lady boss, but I don't know if you will .. that depends on the quality of your efforts to rectify this while still an employee.

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Nov 27, 2010
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I've lived there too...
by: Debra

Although I did not quit, I receved a termination letter as I was considering writing my resignation. After 20 years of working in an industry I loved, embraced and did well in financially, my dreams were shattered when a new owner of the office I had been Director in for almost 4 years revealed her bully personality. I don't believe I ever felt the way I felt in her presence. I honestly felt like I was going crazy. From accusations that were not true, to talking behind my back, her pointing objects an inch away from my face while screaming at me and more...I finally had to see a doctor for anxiety. I consistatly asked her why she treated me the way she did, but it fell on deaf ears. She wrote me up, then cut my hours and benefits until she terminated me. It was as if hse was cutting my arms one inch at a time. After finally standing up to her infront of other staff members, I felt more empowered, but also conflicted. I loved my job and the clients I worked with and tried very hard to live with the situation as it was, plus I was making good money and have 4 children to support. The last straw for me was being denied flexibility for religious leave after tryng very hard to find compromise with my employer. Long story short, I "won" my initial hearing (she didnt show up for her call) but on the 30th day received notice of an appeal which is soon scheduled. I now feel like I am reliving the horror all over again.

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