by John
(Philadelphia, Pa)
My father died suddenly in July 08. And about 4 or 5 months later I started having "issues". I started gradually waking up during the night and eventually not going to bed until 1, 2 then 3 a.m.. When it first started happening I informed my sup and manager (who sits right next to me) and was told "no problem". Also, I started having panic attacks and sudden episodes where I would just start crying. I informed my employer about it (including my VP) and was told not to worry or blown off. My VP even recommended that I try to drink some beers before bed when I tried to talk to her about it. It wasn't an issue until June when I had my review (which was good!) I was given a doc to sign which stated something about my prior tardiness after my good review. I signed it but stated that I disagreed w/ it. I again informed my Manager and Sup that my depression and insomnia was worse. I was then reassured it was just a warning, just "hr bs" and not to worry. It then got worse where I was late 5, 10 and 15 min almost every day. From June to day I was fired I had ups and downs. I tried some over the counter sleeping aides. In November I remember thinking my 4th Childs birth (late November) would help it. I had suffered from depression before (5 years earlier) and I new it was happening again but this time I was unable to go to bed and not sleeping all the time. I was reluctant to go to the doctors office due to embarrassment, afraid of medication and the fact that I just tried to "work it out" since I was told by my Sup, Manager and even my VP that it wasn't a concern. I did just mention it to my doctor during a checkup and he gave me ideas to get to bed like no caffiene
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